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PERSPECTIVE Wednesday, October 15
Leonard Embody marched up and down a sidewalk in September in front of Hillsboro High School in Nashville, Tennessee, in military clothing, with a rifle on his back and a GoPro camcorder attached to his chest — his latest street demonstration supporting Tennessee’s “open carry” gun law. According to a WSMV-TV report, this episode made even some supporters edgy because of the school setting, but Embody didn’t see a problem. “Other people may think I look terrifying,” he acknowledged, but he doesn’t think so, and if you disagree, he suggests psychological counseling. Tennessee bans guns on school property, but a few inches away, on the sidewalk, Embody has decided there’s no problem.
DOCTORS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN Wednesday, October 15
An August West Virginia Board of Medicine report accused Martinsburg doctor Tressie Montene Duffy, age 44 and owner of a “weight and wellness” clinic, of over-prescribing drugs and repeatedly exposing herself to co-workers — including forcing one employee to “motor boat” Duffy’s surgically enhanced breasts.
AMERICAN SCENES Wednesday, October 15
Staci Anne Spence, 42, was hauled to jail for assault in Sandpoint, Idaho,in September, but when the squad car arrived at the station, officers learned that during the ride, she’d completely gnawed through the back seat — foam padding and seat cover. A 38-year-old man was taken, unconscious, to St. Mary’s Hospital in Rochester, Minnesota, in August. After allegedly choking his mother-in-law and refusing to cooperate with police, who used a stun gun and chemical spray on him to no effect, he dramatically KO’d himself with an empty beer bottle.
On the same day in September, Washington, D.C., and New York City made traffic-camera announcements, with Washington declaring a revenue crisis and New York saying just one speed camera in Brooklyn had earned the city $77,550 in a single day. D.C. had projected $93 million in annual camera income, but estimated it would collect only $26 million, while New York City, with fewer cameras, was marveling at the 1,551 tickets the Brooklyn camera zapped on July 7.
BUT SHE HAS A GREAT PERSONALITY Wednesday, October 15
The South American country of Venezuela, already in a recession, suffered a particularly cruel blow (according to a September Associated Press dispatch from Caracas) with a recent shortage in availability of breast implants for its beauty-obsessed senoritas. Restrictive currency controls are limiting enhancement surgeries from the 85,000 performed last year and, according to a local joke, will force Venezuelan women to start developing their personalities. However, according to leading surgeon Dr. Daniel Slobodianik, when potential patients are told their preferred size implant is back-ordered, many merely choose the next-largest available size.
NAMES IN THE NEWS Wednesday, October 15
One of the three suspects in an August arrest for making fraudulent purchases at a Jupiter, Florida, shop: Ms. Cherries Waffles Tennis, 19. The president of the Alabama Public Service Commission (who invoked prayer in July as the most effective way to fight federal restrictions on coal-fired power plants): Ms. Twinkle Andress Cavanaugh. The investigator for the Ohio state auditor’s office who was ordered by his supervisor in July to end a romantic relationship with another government official: Jim Longerbone.
IF I WERE KING Wednesday, October 15
Ontario’s top court rejected Bryan Teskey’s complaint in August over how Roman Catholics continue to be discriminated against by the laws of British royal succession. Even though Ontario (along with many Commonwealth countries) recently removed some aspects of bias (ending the ban on the royal family’s marrying Catholics), Teskey pointed out that Canadian Catholics still don’t have a fair shot at becoming king or queen (though Teskey did not claim that he, personally, had been a candidate).
TO THE MOON, ALICE! Wednesday, October 15
Among the suggestions of the Brisbane, Australia, company Pets Eternal for honoring a deceased pet (made to a reporter in September): keeping a whisker or tooth or lock of hair, or having the remains made into jewelry or mixed with ink to make a tattoo. Overlooked was a new project by the Houston space-flight company Celestis, known for blasting human ashes into orbit (most famously those of Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry). Celestis, working with a California company, will soon offer to shoot pets’ remains into orbit ($995) or perhaps even to the moon ($12,000).
CLEARANCE, CLARENCE Wednesday, October 15
In Londonderry, Northern Ireland, in August, Kevin Clarence, 20, was arrested for an inept attempt to rob a supermarket. He entered the store, and only then, according to witnesses, put a plastic garbage bag over his head and decided to wait in line for his opportunity to address a cashier. He quickly got tired of waiting and said, “I’ll be back,” but was caught by police minutes after leaving the store.
BIONIC SHOES Wednesday, October 15
Police in Japan’s Kyoto Prefecture raided a shoe manufacturer in July and commandeered a list of about 1,500 purchasers of the company’s signature “tosatsu shoes” — shoes with built-in cameras. Investigators have begun visiting the purchasers at home to ask them to hand in the shoes (but, out of fairness, said they wouldn’t cause trouble for customers who could produce a legitimate reason for needing to take photographs and video by pointing the shoe at something).
 
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