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Plausible Explanations Wednesday, October 8
George Byrd IV was charged in September in Middletown, Pennsylvania, with shooting a gun into an occupied structure when he fired a round that accidentally broke a neighbor's window. Byrd told police he fired because it was the only way he knew to …
TOO DUMB FOR WORDS Wednesday, October 8
When U.K. newspaper executive Rebekah Brooks was arrested in 2011 in the notorious News of the World phone-hacking case, so was her husband. Charles Brooks was ultimately acquitted after convincing a jury that he is "too stupid" to have been part of …
Yeah, But the Floor Was Clean Wednesday, October 8
A man named John Thornton was arrested in October after, for some reason, grabbing a mop from an employee at the Double Tree Hotel in Bristol, Connecticut, and (according to the police report) "aggressive(ly)" mopping the floor in a threatening …
Just Looked, Didn't Touch Wednesday, October 8
Ernest Angley, 93, is the latest televangelist to see his empire challenged — following his July denial (from the pulpit of his Grace Cathedral in Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio) that he is homosexual and that he inappropriately touched some parishioners, …
The Lord Works in Mysterious Ways Wednesday, October 8
A 34-year-old mother of two, walking in Chicago, was killed in September when a stone gargoyle fell from the historic Second Presbyterian Church and hit her on the head. And two women survived their car's being crushed by a 100-pound boulder as they …
Stand Your Ground Wednesday, October 8
Owen Reese, 22, was arrested in October in Sparta, Wisconsin, for reckless endangerment when he answered a knock on his door from fundraising Cub Scouts by swinging a sword wildly. Reese told police that he "always" answers the door with his sword …
CLUES AT THE SCENE Wednesday, October 1
Alfred J. Shropshire III was charged in June with burglarizing a home in Lakewood, Washington, identified by his having accidentally dropped at the scene a plaque from a local Mazda dealer naming Alfred J. Shropshire III Salesperson of the Month. John Martinez, 68, was arrested for allegedly robbing a Wells Fargo bank in Denver in July, having been identified by bank personnel who recalled the robber wore a black T-shirt with “John” on it and in part because video revealed a silver Honda registered to “John Martinez” was outside for a getaway.
SIZE MATTERS (SOMETIMES) Wednesday, October 1
A court in Leer, Germany, ordered a medical examination of the manhood of Herbert O., 54, to help decide a criminal charge of exhibitionism. The man’s wife testified Herbert’s organ is “too short to hang out of [his] trousers,” as claimed by the victim of the flashing. The judge asked a local health official to make an exact measurement.
WHAT’S THE MAGIC WORD? Wednesday, October 1
A September report from Rhone, France, tells of a 33-year-old man sentenced to prison for 10 months for harassing his ex-girlfriend with 21,807 phone calls and texts over the 10 months following the split (a daily average of 73). The man insisted he only wanted the woman to say thanks for carpentry work he’d done on her apartment.
TAKE A LOAD OFF Wednesday, October 1
University of Arizona Medical Center surgeons removed a 47-pound tumor from a woman’s stomach in April — not even close to being the largest ever mentioned here, but likely the only such large tumor held in the arms of a member of the surgical team, as pictured in a post-op photo.
 
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