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SOLUTIONS TO NON-PROBLEMS Wednesday, August 20
Chung-Ang University in South Korea announced in April that its traditional-sport Department of Sport Science would begin accepting — as legitimate "student athletes" — video gamers.
WHO KNEW? Wednesday, August 20
Researchers from England's University of Lincoln revealed in July that red-footed tortoises are not only "inquisitive" but make decisions in their brain's "medial cortex" region, associated with "complex cognitive behavior" (because they have no …
WE GOTTA GET OUTTA THIS PLACE Wednesday, August 20
In July, officials at Djanogly City Academy in Nottingham, England, broke up an attempt by five students (ages 11-14) attending a daytime-locked-down school to escape by tunneling under a security fence. They discovered the boys' metal cutlery …
SORRY … I LOST MY HEAD Wednesday, August 20
In a deadly ending reminiscent of scenes in several crime movies, a 22-year-old man fleeing police in Brooklyn, New York, in June crashed his car at a high speed into the back of a flatbed truck and was decapitated as the body of the car (but not …
NOT READY FOR PRIME TIME Wednesday, August 20
A 40-year-old man (not named by the Seattle Post-Intelligencer) was arrested there on July 31 after a several-hour, epically inept, crime spree. Attempting to rob a restaurant, he was turned down by employees and customers, then turned down by two …
LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINAL Wednesday, August 20
Joshua Pawlak, 27, entered a total of four businesses in Woodbridge, New Jersey, on July 27 and similarly met resistance and/or indifference to his money demands — and came away from the four with only $2, also from a tip jar.
READERS' CHOICE Wednesday, August 20
An airborne banner towed by an airplane came loose in Fremont, California, in July and floated down, landing on a house, frightening the residents. The sign advertised GEICO insurance.
ALL THINGS MUST PASS Wednesday, August 20
A 10-foot-tall pine tree in Los Angeles's Griffith Park, dedicated in 2004 with a plaque to the late musician George Harrison, was recently destroyed by an infestation, and another will be planted in its place, according to a city councilman. The …
COME FLY WITH ME Wednesday, August 13
The May 28 US Airways flight from LA to Philly was diverted to Kansas City after a passenger's service dog did what dogs do, in the aisle, twice (an hour apart). One passenger used the terms "lingering smell," "dry heaving" and "throwing up" in …
LEAST COMPETENT FUZZ Wednesday, August 13
Clay County, Florida, Sheriff's Office twice this year arrested the wrong Ashley Chiasson — in January (for grand theft) and in May (writing bad checks) — despite three years, five inches, 20 pounds and middle names separating them (Ashley …
 
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