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LEAST COMPETENT Wednesday, August 27
Ryan Mullins, 22, was arrested in Swansboro, North Carolina, in August when he came to an officer's attention at 5:30 a.m. Police said he had broken into a pharmacy, had stolen the 100-pound safe, and was dragging it behind his car when the officer …
DUMBASS Wednesday, August 27
Robert Haught Jr., 42, was captured after a high-speed chase through Burlington, Massachusetts, in August, with police recovering "stacks" of stolen credit cards and suspected-stolen high-end electronics from the car. Haught attracted police …
As summed up by a Vox.com writer: "The absurdity runs deep." America uses American military equipment to bomb American military equipment that ISIS captured from Iraqi soldiers. America's Kurdish allies, fighting ISIS, use inferior Russian weapons …
SAY WHAT? Wednesday, August 27
Thomas Clark, 28, of Crawley, England, beat a foreboding charge in July when he was acquitted of voyeurism even after admitting he'd hidden a video camera in a workplace rest room, despite evidence that he'd worked in pornography. Clark persuaded a …
GREAT PARENTING Wednesday, August 27
Kayla McKenzie, 22, was charged with DUI in Bismarck, North Dakota, a condition that led her to crash into five vehicles or structures on Aug. 12 — with, according to police, three unsecured children in her car, including a year-old infant riding …
RAVE ON, DUDE Wednesday, August 27
Rayvon Campos, 22, pleaded guilty in San Antonio in August to first-degree felony assault of his 1-month-old daughter that resulted in brain hemorrhaging. Nonetheless, he reassured the judge, "This is the first time I've ever been in trouble. ... …
NEVER SAW IT Wednesday, August 27
A fire hydrant at 393 University Ave. has brought in more parking ticket revenue (since 2008) than any other hydrant in Toronto — $289,620 on 2,962 violations, according to an August Toronto Star report. While hydrants are usually located at …
SOOTHING THE SAVAGE BEAST Wednesday, August 27
A woman hiking in Down Valley Park near Placerville, Colorado, told Denver's KUSA-TV in August of her narrow escape from a mountain lion that had stalked her for a half-hour (crouching menacingly each time she attempted to retreat). At the closest …
POLICE REPORT Wednesday, August 27
Arrest Him at Your Peril: In July, a jury in Brooklyn, New York, awarded Kevin Jarman, 50, $510,000 from the city for the broken ankle he suffered during his arrest for shoplifting in May 2011 (a charge to which he eventually pleaded guilty). Among …
I WANT MY CABLE DAMMIT Wednesday, August 27
Gloria Baca-Lucero, 48, was arrested in Albuquerque in July after allegedly holding a Comcast cable installer's tool bag at gunpoint in her home. She said she believed her service call was free, but the installer told her otherwise, and she …
 
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