The Myth of Medical Marijuana

Patients don't need it for pain, but boosters 
want it for recreation


When last I saw a medical marijuana advocate, he'd just jumped the back fence of the condos and was booking up Market Street with two popo in pursuit. We were evicting said advocate because both he and the condo's owner had forgotten to pay rent, condo fees and the mortgage for several years and the condo association, the association's president (me) and CitiMortgage Inc. were peeved.

During the trash-out, (being a condo association president is similar to being a janitor), I discovered, as expected, brochures about the wondrousness of marijuana as a medicine and the cruel injustice of a state that allows — nay, encourages — the consumption of alcohol but bans the magic herb. I also found methamphetamine, crack cocaine, baggies, bongs big and bongs small, bongs with water and hubble-bubble hoses and two electronic scales as cute as lace pants.

This mope was using the condo as a dope hole, which is cop-talk for a combination drug office and storeroom. Anyone whose IQ tops three digits knows not to live near the stuff. That can be hazardous for your freedom and problematical for your existence. On the desk were wrappers for $20,000 in C-notes and fifties, lists of customers running tabs, with accounts receivable, and lists of suppliers with whom he was running tabs, with accounts payable. There were bank statements from Grand Cayman, which didn't surprise me, and parts for a .38 revolver, which did. That's not much gun for the dope biz.

This guy, who was a beach boy from Ponte Vedra, was challenging, unwisely, the exclusive franchise of The Brothers to sell Schedule I narcotics in Springfield. By now, I'm sure he's duly dead and has been duly dumped into Hogans Creek to float therefrom into the vastness of the St. Johns.

Dumb twerp.

What is truly surprising is the astonishment, possibly unfeigned, of elected officials in legal marijuana states like Colorado and Oregon. According to the Nov. 30 issue of the Wall Street Journal, they're shocked to discover that the felons to whom they entrusted the marijuana dispensary business continue to trade in machine guns, semi-auto pistols, the levorotatory enantiomer of methamphetamine and — gasp — the more portable forms of cocaine chloride.

Of course, the entire argument in favor of medical marijuana is specious for a simple reason: Marijuana, per se, is not medicinal. Its active ingredient, tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), is. THC ameliorates nausea and vomiting and stimulates appetite in patients suffering from AIDS, end-stage cancer and the effects of chemotherapy. It is useful in the relief of neuropathic pain.

What nobody mentions is that pharmaceutically pure isomers of THC are available by prescription, either in pill form or injectable liquid, under the trade name Marinol. Synthetic versions, trade named dronabinol and nabilone, are also manufactured. You can buy all this stuff at Walmart.

There's no medical need to smoke marijuana to get THC, just as it's not necessary to gnaw willow bark to get aspirin or to drink nasty, gray mold to get penicillin. Those friendly guys at Big Pharma have been selling these plant-based drugs, in dosages of enviable purity, for decades. The price of Marinol is surprisingly modest, about the same as buying weed from your Glock-toting neighborhood dope dealer.

Interestingly, THC is not the front-line medication for any of the illnesses for which it is approved. There are newer, better and more powerful drugs. For example, THC's ability to relieve pain is modest. I can tell you from personal experience that when your kidneys are exploding from stones, or when an orthopedic surgeon has hammered the spikes of an artificial knee into your leg bones, you don't, between screams, call for marijuana. You howl for morphine, or Dilaudid, mainlined into the nearest vein. Hell, you'd drill a hole into your own head if shooting those drugs into your brain would make them work any faster.

Medical marijuana is merely a fairy tale told to the credulous. It has to be sold in dispensaries by former dope dealers because, even though legal under state laws, marijuana is illegal under federal law, so doctors can't prescribe it and pharmacists can't sell it.

What medical marijuana advocates really want is legal marijuana. They want to buy the stuff without fear, and smoke it publicly without consequences, any time day or night. If sick people find it useful, goody for them. What the legal dope crowd doesn't have, yet, is enough political clout to persuade Congress to pass a law and the Choomster-in-Chief to sign it. ("Choom" is Hawaiian slang for dope. During a misguided period of his youth, the president, like the author, inhaled industrial quantities of the stuff.)

I oppose legalized marijuana for two reasons. First, it has the unenviable quality of producing, during combustion, even more carcinogenic alkaloids than tobacco. That's why Willie Nelson sings "sotto voce," with one lobe of one lung. It also accelerates tumor growth, which is why a black speck of melanoma under Bob Marley's toenail in short order turned his brain and liver to mush and his body into a corpse.

Second, marijuana has a pernicious effect that alcohol does not. It snuffs out goals and ambitions. It makes you not care, so you drift through life aimlessly and painlessly. Nothing could be more inadvisable, or more dangerous,

In Crime City.

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Your opinion is fine. What does it have to do with legitimate research? Or is that what you do when you're not writing for the Folio. What are your credentials?

The problems you associate with illegal drugs are there because they are illegal. Wednesday, December 11, 2013|Report this



Wow, this is by far the worst piece of literature put out in a published work I have ever seen. The bias is extremely obvious, almost as obvious as the lack of research done beforehand. Don't get me wrong, I don't expect good articles from folio weekly, I just don't expect the propaganda to be this blatant and misleading. For instance, the article implies that THC is the only active ingredient in Cannabis, which is so far from the truth it isn't funny. He then claims that Marinol and other harmful prescriptions with dangerous side effects are just as good. Any study I have seen suggest that when you isolate the THC molecule from the other cannabinoids, the effects just aren't there. THC is one of many different cannabinoids that are all active in Cannabis. These cannabinoids interact the with the built in cannabinoid-receptors in humans.

The ignorant claims in this article just fuel the unjust laws in this country. “The friendly guys at Big Pharma” make more money a year than any other racket in the country, they also are responsible for more deaths than illegal drugs every year, whether by accidental overdose, death as a side effect, or abuse by people who started thinking they were getting something from “friendly guys at Big Pharma”. Give me a break! There is tons of scientific evidence touting natural cures, something the naturally growing plant Cannabis is. There is even evidence of people curing cancer with it, but those “friendly guys at Big Pharma” wouldn't have you know or believe that, it cuts into market shares.

Then this ignorant tool goes on to backtrack his own claim saying “if sick people find it useful, goody for them”. No medical value? And what is so wrong with the desire to want to use a plant that sick people find useful, with out the fear of some goon squad kicking in your door because you have a plant in your house?

His inaccuracies abound through out, for instance, Oregon has not legalized, Washington did. I just came here from there. I can tell you that there are plenty of legitimate business men running legitimate businesses, paying a hefty share of taxes, taking away business from illegal cartels. Another inaccuracy is that Cannabis speeds tumor growth, it does the exact opposite, which is why Rick Simpson and his oil is so popular.

How he can rationally suggest that alcohol does not have the negative effects he suggest Cannabis does is beyond my “IQ that tops three digits”. Tell Ted Turner the billionaire that it makes people drift through life aimlessly, he's known to smoke a joint daily. Micheal Bloomberg doesn't deny partaking. Bill Gates can hardly be called aimless, or with out goals and ambitions. Clarence Thomas smoked and became a Supreme Court Justice. All 3 of the last Presidents of this country openly admitted it not just the current “Choomster”, getting to be President seems awful ambitious to me. Bob Marley who was mentioned in the article was ambitious enough, and had goals to sell millions of records around the world, not just at home in Cannabis loving Jamaica.

The worst part of the article is the assumption that anyone who likes to use a naturally occurring plant, whether its recreational or medicinal, must also therefore be into non-naturally occurring “drugs”, as well as carry violent weapons, and not have any goals or ambitions, while also floating through life aimlessly and painlessly.

I can assure you as a Veteran who fought for this country and all of its unjust laws, my use of Cannabis is purely medical, is backed by science, and does amazing things for my chronic back pain (fractured vertebrae in lower back while active duty). It also does wonderful things for my own, as well as many of my fellow veterans for “Post Traumatic Stress Disorder” by relieving much of the anxiety by activating my dopamine receptors in my brain. Thursday, December 12, 2013|Report this


“The friendly guys at Big Pharma” as you quote. Before I begin, I do not smoke or take part in cannabis. The Big Guys that allow pill mills to run, that let little Johnny and Jane steal from their parents for percoset and cough syrup? Maybe a little blue or white oblong pill. Have you really felt the effect of cancer? Have you seen the addiction that "Big Pharma" as you state brought? You are a piece of crap to bring an opinion to the people in this county and state. How dare you run your mouth on something that you believe in your mind's eye to be OK. I would like to see the effect of a pharmaceutical drugs make you itch and die for more.

You are complete shit. I do not know you, but you are completely biased. You are basically telling readers to ruin their livers on alcohol and pills. While you are at it, smoke more than a pack to meet the carcinogenic requirements of marijuana. I picked up the folio and was offended even though I am indifferent to marijuana. Do you even know how destructive acetaminophen is to the liver (VICODEN-LORTAB) and you throw blows at (1) singer?

You are looking at crime. I would love to submit to the Folio the difference between pill crime vs marijuana crime. You definitely are not a statistician. You are just some idiot that got to make his/her point. You probably never felt a loved one pass from pain with their hand grasped to yours.

You are a publicity stunt that walked into an issue and feels that your argument is valid. I do not understand completely what you are trying to achieve by this 'blog'.

"Second, marijuana has a pernicious effect that alcohol does not. It snuffs out goals and ambitions." You are joking? Alcohol does not destroy ambitions? Are you insane, how did Folio allow you to take a shit on their paper before I could wipe my ass on it?

Crime City?

"I can tell you from personal experience that when your kidneys are exploding from stones, or when an orthopedic surgeon has hammered the spikes of an artificial knee into your leg bones, you don't, between screams, call for marijuana. You howl for morphine, or Dilaudid, mainlined into the nearest vein. Hell, you'd drill a hole into your own head if shooting those drugs into your brain would make them work any faster."

You are an advocate for addiction. You have never felt the pain of cancer. Re-read what you wrote.

Screw you for thinking otherwise. Keep the Oxycontin running. Take the blue pill or the red pill, either way your screwed because the beauty of diacetylmorphine or morphine diacetate is that it hooks you. You are hiding opium behind marijuana in your blog.

Wake up dope head, you are worse than a pot head. Saturday, December 14, 2013|Report this