m.d. m.j.

FORGET Frankincense & Myrrh

The real green of the season is way better

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The holiday season is upon us, and folks all around the world are noting final additions to their wish lists and making gift selections for special people in their lives. Some of these will be even more interesting than usual for Florida residents, as 2017 marks the first Christmas since medical marijuana was enshrined in the law. (The amendment was passed in November 2016, but implementation didn’t begin until last January.) This means that a lot of boys and girls (well, men and women) will be getting marijuana-themed gifts this holiday season. A few suggestions:

The medical marijuana laws don’t currently cover the cannabis flower itself, but that’s no reason to limit your options. For the record, giving actual weed for Christmas is a terrible idea, though surely anyone who’d complain to police has probably already been allocated their very own shiny lump of coal. Consider instead my favorite gift idea: a grinder, specifically the sweet line of Star Wars-themed grinders available all over the internet. Varieties include Darth Vader and the Millennium Falcon, but let’s keep it real: The only acceptable option is the Death Star or, if you insist on being a smartass, BB-8.

These are not officially licensed products, but I don’t think you care, and neither will the stoner geeks who find one in their stockings. A friend sent me a GroupOn last week offering the $60 grinders at the low, low price of $9.99; that deal has since expired, but you can still find more. Best part? Whoever you give it to will probably cover your ticket for a Christmas Day screening of The Last Jedi, and you know that pre-game session is guaranteed to be epic.

While you’re thinking about what else to put under the tree, consider the tree itself. Walmart.com was selling trees made of pot leaves for $249. Unfortunately, it’s artificial, or else your shopping would be over in one fell swoop. Turns out that the flood of weirdos trying to order them led to a backlash, and Walmart pulled the item from stock. What do you do with a surplus of fake pot-leaf Christmas trees? Quite a surprise is awaiting someone at the landfill, methinks.

Of course, if you want to go whole-hog gift-wise, consider taking that special someone out for an appointment to get their own medical marijuana card—the gift that keeps on giving, at least as long as the federal government permits it. The ever-growing number of dispensaries and retail outlets in the region offers a vast, diverse array of products and accessories for any patients or would-be patients in your life. And if you can’t decide, don’t fret: They all offer gift certificates!

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