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THE SPECKTATOR

As much as I am thrilled Tim Tebow has been signed by the New England Patriots (I like the kid; sue me), I'm slightly disappointed he's employed.

Since his departure from the New York Jets, I have been compiling a list of careers he could pursue that have nothing to do with his abilities on the football field—or lack thereof, depending on which side of the white picket fence you're on. At the rate he's going, though (playing for three different teams in four years), he may want to keep these suggestions in close proximity to his vision board.

Aside from Tebow's obvious options as motivational speaker and ESPN mascot, he has so many talents and interests that the job market is as broad as his sweat-glistening chest.

Check the photo gallery above for my top 10 picks.   More

THE SPECKTATOR

In case you missed my ramblings on First Coast Connect this morning, here’s what’s coming up this weekend and beyond—Around Town!

June 13-22

"9 to 5 The Musical," Theatre Jacksonville

June 13-August 4

"Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat," Alhambra Theatre & Dining

June 15

Seawalk Music Festival,  noon-10 p.m., Seawalk Pavilion, Jacksonville Beach

 

World Juggling Day, 1 p.m., Ripley's Believe It or Not!, St. Augustine

"A Midnight Summer Night's Dream," 2 and 7:30 p.m., Flagler College’s Lewis Auditorium, St. Augustine

Newsroom Street Fight,  6 p.m., Police Athletic League gym, 3450 Monument Road

Jax Truckies Food Truck Championship, 6-10 p.m., Burrito Gallery

 

FATHER'S DAY FREEBIES

Animal adoptions, June 14-16, Jacksonville Humane Society

Miniature golf and water park admission, Adventure Landing

Admission to Jacksonville Zoo

Admission to World Golf Hall of Fame

Yours truly rocks the mic on WJCT's First Coast Connect every Thursday around 9:50 a.m. Tune in. Look out.   More

THE SPECKTATOR

"Business casual" has ruined Father's Day gift-giving for many lazy offspring who can no longer rely on the last-minute, go-to necktie. (Unfortunately, my brother and I didn't even have that option since our dad never wore a tie to work. Our fall-back gift was a Hickory Farms summer sausage gift box).

Dads also get gypped in the present department because their children probably spent their last penny/ounce of creativity on a Mother's Day gift. So this year, I've made a concerted effort to give Pops something: 1) he actually wants, 2) is available close to home and 3) won't raise his cholesterol.

Here are 30 of my picks in a variety of price ranges. And you're welcome.

Big bucks: NASCAR driving experience at Daytona International Speedway ($549+)

Bargain : Go-kart driving at Adventure Landing ($7) 

Big bucks: Round of golf at TPC Sawgrass with a caddie (+$350)

Bargain: Round of glow-in-the-dark/3-D miniature golf at Batt Family Fun Center 

Big bucks: Jacksonville Jaguars 2013 new logo helmet ($319.95)

Bargain: Jacksonville Jaguars football player toothbrush ($5.95)

Big bucks: "The Sports Classic" massage and body scrub at The Spa at Ponte Vedra Inn and Club ($215+)

Bargain: manicure at Parisian Spa Institute aka Parisian Beauty School ($8)

Big bucks: Chef's adventure at Matthew's with wine pairings ($125 per person)

Bargain: Rib sandwich paired with sweet tea ($9) from Jenkins Quality Barbecue

 

10 under $50

1. Cooking class at Publix Apron's Cooking School ($40+)

2. Historic pub crawl in St. Augustine ($39)

3. Old City Helicopters tour of North Beach ($39)

4. "Adopted" animal at the Jacksonville Zoo ($35+)

5. The GodFATHER's Day Film and Feast at Sun-Ray Cinema ($30)

6. Old-fashioned neck shave at The Art of Shaving ($35+)

7. "High-speed expedition" on El Conquistador Speed Boat …   More

THE SPECKTATOR

It's been four months since I became Florida Governor Rick Scott's self-appointed unofficial Twitter account analyst. Since accepting the position (how could I not when I appointed myself?), I have uncovered the governor's — allegedly inadvertent — following of a number of odd Twitter accounts like Elephantsfarting, i have never voted, I'm a Panda and MTV Teen Mom Farrah Abraham, not to mention multiple colon cleansing businesses ... and a teen porn site.

Since then, I have been contacted by someone in the governor's office informing me that Scott's Twitter account was — unbeknownst to him — set up to automatically follow anyone who followed him. While I certainly don't believe that Scott intentionally followed naked teenagers or a pooting pachyderm, I do question the person(s) overseeing his Twitter for not knowing about "automatic follow" (the fact that he was following more than 25,000 accounts should have been the first clue) and not noticing these embarrassing follows, inadvertent or not.

That said, as the governor's dutiful, self-appointed unofficial Twitter account analyst, I took another look at who Scott is currently following (for the record, the aforementioned accounts have subsequently been unfollowed).

I don't want to ruin any surprises, but one is an escort service.

Check out Gov. Scott's latest "follow faux pas" in the photo gallery above (be warned: photo five contains words describing lady parts that may be considered offensive).   More

THE SPECKTATOR

In case you missed my ramblings on First Coast Connect this morning, here’s what’s coming up this weekend and beyond—Around Town!

June 7

Food Fight, 6:30 p.m., Touchdown Club East, EverBank Field 

Kings of the Mic Tour, 5 p.m., St. Augustine Amphitheatre 

June 8

I Love Music Tour, 2-8 p.m.. Jacksonville Landing

Shop for Freedom:One Spark! Celebration, 2-9 p.m., Rethreaded Warehouse, 820 Barnett St.

Authentic Polynesian Show and Night Swim, 6-11 p.m., Adventure Landing

"Men Are From Mars—Women Are From Venus LIVE," 8 p.m., Times-Union Center

JCCI Forward Prom With a Vengeance, 7-midnight, WJCT Studios

June 9

WWE Live, 5 p.m. Arena

5 p.m. Arena

June 12

Billy Idol, 6 p.m., St. Augustine Amphitheatre,

 

Yours truly rocks the mic on WJCT's First Coast Connect every Thursday around 9:50 a.m. Tune in. Look out.   More

THE SPECKTATOR

Having watched "The Bachelor" since its debut in 2002 (feel free to judge—unless you watch "Dance Moms" or "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo"), I think the latest season was the most boring ever. The tedium did serve a purpose, though, since it gave me time to re-imagine the show with local personalities handing out the roses.

From a musician to a chef, an NFL player to a news anchor, the eight bachelors* in the above photo gallery are my local candidates for "The Bachelor" season 18. As you will see, not every one of them was selected based on their looks (how many of them would you like to see in the show's frequent "shirtless bachelor working out or running down the beach" scenes?) or accomplishments (one of them isn't even old enough to have a driver license ... guess his dates' parents would have to drive the convertible Ferrari). But each has a certain something that would make it a show worth watching.

* Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge, each of these gentleman is a true bachelor (i.e., not legally married), a "fact" that I researched on the Internet and/or by texting friends of friends of people who might know them. In the event that any of them is married, I apologize profusely to the gentleman in question, his wife, his family and potential bachelorettes.   More

THE SPECKTATOR

Been wondering what Black Kids have been up to lately? I can't speak for all of them, but singer/guitarist Reggie Youngblood has been cross dressing and "talking to Jesus" about Taylor Swift.

Check out the video "Taylor Swift." 

And if that doesn't entice you to watch, maybe this congratulatory Tweet from B.J. "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head" Thomas will...

@blackkidsrockLove the song. Go get em!BJ— BJ Thomas (@TheBJThomas) April 28, 2013

  More

THE SPECKTATOR

At some point during your residency in Northeast Florida, you've probably marveled at works by famous and upcoming artists at the Museum of Contemporary Art or oohed and aahed at dinosaur exhibits and planetarium shows at the Museum of Science and History. But have you come face to face with a 2,400-year old rug made out of cat hair — that is cursed? Or learned how to properly load gun powder into a Civil War-era musket? 

Didn't think so. Which is why I sought out some lesser-known museums in the area that may prove to be just as educational—and entertaining—to you and your family. And some even have gift shops!

Amelia Island Museum of History, Fernandina Beach

Mission: "To bring alive and preserve the area's rich history, from Timucua Native American tribe to Spanish and French explorers, from the lawless spirit of pirates to the dignified air of Victorian-era residents..." 

Permanent exhibits: Civil War and the Florida Railroad, Spanish missions of La Florida, Timucuan Village 

What you might learn: David Levy Yulee, an Amelia Island lawyer, was Florida's first U.S. senator and the country's first Jewish senator

Beaches Museum and History Park, Jacksonville Beach

Mission: "Dedicated solely to preserving the history and heritage of Florida's First Coast beach communities including Mayport, Atlantic, Neptune, Jacksonville and Ponte Vedra beaches and historic Palm Coast"

Permanent exhibits: a 28-ton 1911 steam locomotive, the Heritage Garden and extensive photo archives

What you might learn: Some historians believe the first permanent, year-round Native American settlement in North America was located in the area now known as Atlantic Beach in 3570 BCE

Florida Agriculture Museum, Palm Coast

Mission: "Preserving Florida's agricultural past and [encouraging] conservation of heritage livestock including rare Florida Cracker cattle and horses"

Permanent exhibits: original …   More

THE SPECKTATOR

National Hat Day isn't until January (not that I would expect you to know that), but some things are worth celebrating months in advance. And Congresswoman Corrine Brown's vast collection is one of those things.

While I haven't a clue as to how many hats Brown owns, I can only assume she has a walk-in closet jam-packed with them. I also like to imagine each one has its very own hat box labeled with a description of its contents.

Since I have never been invited to Brown's home, I can't verify any of the above, but that certainly hasn't stopped me from coming up with my own hat box labels.

Cue photo gallery ...   More

THE SPECKTATOR

So you're Alvin Brown, mayor of a city that's continually recognized for producing one of the best jazz festivals in the country. And your list of past headliners reads like a who's who of the genre: Dizzy Gillespie, Tony Bennett, Buddy Guy, Herbie Hancock, Diane Schuur, Wynton and Branford Marsalis, Rosemary Clooney, Chuck Mangione, Miles Davis, Al Jarreau, Diana Krall.

Of course, you want to take the Jacksonville Jazz Festival to the next level, but your loyal constituents tell you it's simply not possible and beg you not to try. Except that you are Alvin "Next Level" Brown: Do they just expect you to throw up your jazz hands and give up or, in the alternative, throw in the tight-weave, cotton cloth towel that one might use to clean a trumpet and say "I quit"? 

Of course not! If you're the Alvin Brown we know, you're going to find a way to take the Jazz Festival to another level, maybe not a higher level, but certainly a different level.

Hence, the debut of the JFF "Off Jazz" Concert. The event, which kicks off Jazz Festival weekend, features performances by multiple Grammy Award-nominated R&B and soul artist Brian McKnight and R&B singer Avant. (Seriously, why would Mayor Brown kick off a jazz event with something as predictable as jazz music?)

And if that doesn't take the the Jazz Fest to a whole other level, why not bring in a contemporary swing band like Big Bad Voodoo Daddy to headline Saturday night's show? (Really? How much jazz can a person stand listening to in a weekend? People should be thanking Mayor Brown for the break.)

All kidding aside, this game of musical chairs isn't something that Brown dreamed up himself. Festival organizers have been sneaking decidedly non-jazz acts, like Patti LaBelle, Ledisi, the Neville Brothers, Patti Austin and Roberta Flack, into the line-up for years. The only difference is Brown is the first one to actually refer to a performance as being …   More

 
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