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Get Ready, Set: Florida Georgia BINGO!

Way, way back in the year of our lord 2009, Folio Weekly created these groovy Bingo boards to increase your Florida-Georgia joy factor by at least ten thousand.

The rules are simple: get your closest friends and foes (up to five), grab a pen and mark off the item when you spot it. Only the first person to spot the item may mark it. In the interests of making the game easier to play, feel free to substitute "Make America Great Again" hats or "Hillary for Prison" shirts, hats or stickers for any of the McCain/Palin items. That or keep it O.G. for an even more challenging game.

May the sharpest eye (read: the person who isn't seeing double) win!





Trump Reveals Plans to "FIX our Country"

Donald Trump announced the plans for his first 100 days in office at a St. Augustine rally Monday. The list included dozens of initiatives to be carried out by executive order or with the help of Congress, something Trump is confident he'll have. His confidence stems from the allegation that polls showing him behind in the race are the result of polling only Democrats.

Here's a rundown of Trump's grand scheme for his first 100 days in office:


Introduce a corruption act in D.C. to enact ethical reforms



Renegotiate or withdraw from the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA)

Withdraw from the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP)

List China as a currency manipulator. Trump told the crowd he's made "a lot of money in China" and the country has told him they are.

Direct the Secretary of Commerce to end foreign trade abuses that hurt U.S. workers




Develop clean coal

Approve the Keystone Pipeline to create jobs for American workers

Cancel payments to United Nations climate change programs


Foreign Policy

Repeal the Affordable Care Act. Trump dismissed the ACA as "terrible" and "not working."

Introduce patient center reform. Trump ensures this concept is "totally affordable and much better" than reforms to the ACA


Pass a school choice opportunity act to allow parents the ability to choose which schools their children attend.

End Common Core and make education more localized


Pass a middle tax relief and simplification act. Briefly describing this act, he said that a family with "two children will get a 35 percent tax cut."

End the Offshoring Act and impopse a 35 percent tax on businesses that relocate overseas


"Oh, we're going to build a wall. Don't worry. Don't even think about it. Don't think about it."

Cancel federal funding to sanctuary cities. According to Trump, this will allow for the U.S. to "swiftly remove …   More


Bill Clinton Campaigns in DOWNTOWN Jax

“If you don’t want someone to drive the truck off the cliff, don’t give them the keys,” said former President Bill Clinton at a campaign rally in downtown Jacksonville Friday afternoon.

The remark was one of many directed at Republican candidate Donald Trump during a Hillary Clinton campaign rally that also featured Florida House Rep. Mia Jones, Sen. Bill Nelson and Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz. The free event drew thousands of people to the Main Library where Clinton spoke to a crammed room that overflowed into the surrounding hallways.

Duval County Democratic Party chairman Neil Henrichsen kicked-off the event to encourage voters — he said 240,000 in Jacksonville were registered Democrats — to “make sure Florida goes blue.”

The mood shifted and the crowd came alive when Congresswoman Wasserman Schultz took the stage. She fired shot after shot at both the GOP and Trump, a man she referred to only as “he who shall not be named.” And yes, the Voldermort reference was intentional.

Wasserman Schultz, who recently resigned amidst scandal as the chair of the Democratic National Convention, claimed the GOP was so muddled they “couldn’t organize themselves out of a paper bag.”

Once the bashing concluded, she turned her attention to the Hillary Clinton campaign’s promises of continuing the Affordable Care Act, ensuring equal pay, investing in infrastructure and raising the minimum wage to $15/hour.

Nelson was more tame than the animated Wasserman Schultz, but began his speech by claiming Hillary would carry Florida by five points. CNN shifted Florida from “battleground” to “leaning Democrat” status Thursday. 

Hillary wasn’t the only individual receiving praise from Nelson; he spoke highly of Vice Presidential nominee Tim Kaine, calling him “the real deal.” Nelson also called for voters to elect current Rep. Patrick Murphy …   More


The Oct. 16 line-up at 1904 Music Hall had a little sumpin’ sumpin’ for everyone — even the thousands of trippy hippies who packed out Veterans Memorial Arena’s Phish show earlier in the night.

Openers Mercury Girls, an indiepop band from Philly, played their first show in Florida, with lead singer Sarah Schimeneck bringing a chill energy that got the night off to a mellowy bum rock kind of start.

Then we jammed out to Foxing, a band out of St. Louis that features heavily in horns and strings. Everyone was digging on frontman Conor Murphy’s singing and trumpeting on their high-energy tunes that had the dance floor packed. Foxing’s blend of delicate and soft, mixed with intense buildups, somehow just worked and kept the crowd fully engaged throughout the set.

The next act, out of Doylestown, Pennsylvania, was Balance and Composure, whose new album just dropped on Oct. 7. It’s somewhat of a departure from previous works in the sense that it’s less aggressive and more melodic, even trance-inducing. Even though few were familiar enough with Balance and Composure’s newer songs to sing along, everyone was into Jon Simmons’ calm, soothing voice that in turns blends and contrasts against the backdrop of tunes that range from slow to upbeat and heavy. In the heavier jams, a few braver souls even mustered the (possibly liquid) courage to crowdsurf.

Though we working folks had to hit the pillow for a bright and early Monday morning, after the Phish show let out, 1904 kept the tour kids going with an afterparty that was slated to last until the wee hours of the morning. Feature act The Heavy Pets grooved out with a jam-band style that was a perfect follow-up to Grateful Dead’s heir apparent. The Heavy Pets, hailing from Fort Lauderdale, is a five-person band with major bonafides, having being gigging around for about a decade, playing their signature crossover style that fuses rock, blues, R&B, …   More

This is Not a DRILL

Y’all know that we like a good joke more than any other news outlet. But Hurricane Matthew ain’t no laughing matter. If you’re in a mandatory evacuation zone, get your essentials and head the hell out before it’s too late.

And by essentials we’re not talking about mood-altering substances. (But we’re betting many of you already stocked up on liquor, cigs and that the region’s drug dealers have been busy.)

Actual essentials include important papers, identification, pets, food & water for pets, vital medicine, non-perishable food, drinking water (one gallon/day/person), flashlights, batteries, rain gear, a first aid kit, hand crank radio, multi-purpose tool, cash, a full tank of gas (though this late in the game you probably won’t find much gas or stations that are open), cell phone, chargers, maps, and phone numbers for friends and family.

According to the TU, as of this afternoon, officials estimate only 30 percent of the beaches’ residents have evacuated. This is not the time to play like you're hard, people. You could be killed. This storm has already taken over 100 lives. Grab your shit and go while you can. Plus, they’re shutting off water and sewer service east of the intercoastal beginning at 8 p.m. and alcohol sales at 6 p.m. So if you’re sitting at the bar with your thumb up your ass, pay your tab and find a shelter.


For a comprehensive list of important phone numbers and links for the region, including emergency shelters, first responders, etc., click here. 

Stay safe, y'all. #KeepCalmAndEvacuateOn



Send Hurricane Matthew photos and stories to, tag us on social media at Twitter/FolioWeekly,, and 


Is that You, PENNYWISE?

Add Nassau County to a growing list of communities around the state and the nation that have reported disturbing encounters with people dressed as clowns.

According to the sheriff’s office, a series of recent cases include reports of clowns peeping in windows, lurking in yards, and chasing teenagers by car. A clown sighting was reported “near the band room” last month at Hilliard Middle-Senior High School around noon, said authorities.

Over the last three weeks, authorities said creepy clown sightings have been reported in Hilliard, Callahan and, late last week, on the east side of the county north of S.R. 200/A1A, about two miles west of the Shave Bridge that leads to Amelia Island. Such sightings have also been reported in Pasco County and as far away as Massachusetts, according to reports.

The first incident in Nassau was reported on Sept. 10 when a Hilliard woman reported that her boyfriend’s daughter and a friend were chased around 1 a.m. by the driver of a blue car, dressed in an orange wig and a shirt covered in multicolored polka dots, along Henry Smith Road.

On Sept. 14, the principal of Hilliard Middle-Senior High School reported a clown on campus near the band room after a parent reported seeing “someone in a clown outfit” several minutes earlier near the county library and skate park. Twenty minutes later, said authorities, the “clown” was spotted in the line of trees across C.R. 108.

On Sept. 17, authorities said that a Hilliard mother residing on the 28000 block of Sandstone Lane reported seeing a person in a clown mask watching her through a window around 8 p.m. while she gave her child a bath.

On Sept. 28, a Callahan woman reported around 10:30 p.m. a bang on her trailer and spotted from the window a person, wearing an orange-and-yellow mask, that looked like a clown. Earlier, around 9:45 p.m., authorities said that someone reported a clown sighting on the side of the roadway, …   More

Giant Stumps for CLINTON


In the mid-afternoon lull on Sept. 29, as people lounged and chatted between classes on the sun-washed green at the University of North Florida, a tight knot of students, faculty, spectators and media waited anxiously for a hero to arrive.

A ripple of anticipation passed through the crowd the moment he stepped into view 100 yards away, casually ambling towards them with perfect ease, smiling all the way.

A seven foot tall hulk of a man, former NBA center Jason Collins is not merely physical large, he is a huge symbol of bravery and hope for millions. In 2014, Collins became the first openly gay person to play in the NBA. 

He is a living, breathing hero for LGBT rights and equality.

“My life is exponentially better since coming out,” Collins told the rapt crowd, many of whom are LGBT like him. Collins’ story of fighting his truth, trying to fit in, to be the straight man he thought he was supposed to be before coming out to himself and his family at 33, the world shortly thereafter, resonated. In so many ways, his story is their story.

And for many, so is his political message: Collins has been on a whirlwind tour of Florida urging people to register to vote and campaigning for Hillary Clinton. He’s of the mind that a vote for Clinton is a vote for equality, a vote for acceptance, a vote for the future of a country that is already great – but could easily turn back the clock of inclusion on November 8.

After he spoke to the crowd, Folio Weekly Magazine had the honor of sitting down with the champion.

Collins explained that he isn’t merely stumping for Clinton the politician, he’s putting himself out there for Hillary the person. A classmate of Chelsea Clinton’s at Stanford University, Collins has known the Clintons for almost 20 years. Bill and Hillary came to his graduation party; his sister-in-law was a bridesmaid in Chelsea Clinton’s wedding and she in …   More

Star Emily Auwaerter CHARMS AUDIENCES in ‘Pride & Prejudice’

Days before scoring two Best of Jax awards in this esteemed publication, Theatre Jacksonville strutted its stuff again, staging Pride & Prejudice at a breakneck pace.

At the outset, TJ Executive Director Sarah Boone assured the audience that this Pride & Prejudice would be comprehensive, and director Amy Canning’s edition lives up to the promise.

Star Emily Auwaerter — as Elizabeth “Lizzy” Bennet — charmed this San Marco audience, displaying a graceful presence on stage with unmistakable wit. Those who’ve seen her as part of the Swamp Radio troupe will enjoy seeing her in this dynamic starring role. 

And though audiences will certainly love Elizabeth from the start, they'll learn to love Darcy by the end, which is as it should be. Auwaerter’s chemistry with Jay Bilderback’s Darcy proves a decided strength here.

Vanessa Warner (as Mrs. Bennet) and Neal Thorburn as a goose-stepping Mr. Collins steal scenes, drawing laughs while keeping the frenetic pace light.

Playing the younger Bennet sisters, Melanie Rodriquez, Taylor Kearschner and Kristen Walsh also deliver their proper silliness, offering a strong counterpoint to the more serious plot strands of the love and pressure to marry.

Considering the challenges of Jon Jory’s speedy adaptation, which leaves very little on the cutting room floor, most audiences will rave about this talented cast and crew.

The play’s pace did cause the actors to trip over a few lines during this opening weekend performance, but they recovered well.  

Richard DeSpain’s Mr. Bennet delivered some of the play’s best lines as the witty counter to Warner’s high-strung and hilarious Mrs. Bennet. Jonathon Yates squeezed more of the lying manipulator than the charmer out of his Mr. Wickham.

The costumes are stellar with those empire-waist dresses putting you right in the 1813 setting.

Those who know the book …   More

Presidential Debate DRINKING GAME

Boy, oh boy, the moment we’ve been waiting for is almost here: the first presidential debate starring She Who Shall Not Admit a Lie versus He Who Shall Never Apologize! Don’t know about you, but we’re positively tingling in anticipation.

Because there ain’t no party like a blackout party, we’ve created this guzzle-the-national-shame game for you to beat a hasty descent to the candidates’ levels.


1.   If Donald Trump wears a red tie, take a shot of tequila and prune juice (also known as immigrants’ tears)

2.   If Hillary Clinton wears a blue dress, light a cigar and take a Blow Job shot (Bailey’s, Kahlua and whipped cream)

3.   If Bill Clinton is in the audience, light a joint

4.   If Gennifer Flowers is in the audience, take a Buttery Nipple shot (layered butterscotch schnapps and Bailey’s)

5.   If Melania Trump is in the audience, take a Liquid Viagra shot (Red Bull and Jägermeister)


1.   Every time Trump – DT if you’re nasty – says, “Make America great again,” take two swigs of beer, preferably Budweiser America

2.   Every time Clinton says “our children,” take one shot of bubblegum flavored vodka mixed with grape Kool-Aid

3.   If Trump says “wonderful people,” take three swigs of beer, preferably People’s Pale Ale

4.   If Clinton apologizes for calling Trump’s supporters deplorables, drink half a glass of chardonnay with a dash of bitters

5.   If Trump doubles (or is it quintuples?) down on building a wall between the U.S. and Mexico, take a shot of Mezcal. If Trump says he’s going to get Mexico to pay for the wall, eat the worm

6.   Every time Clinton rolls her eyes at something Trump says, take a bong hit and hold it as long as you …   More


Right now, the Duval County School Board is frantically backpedaling and tap dancing away from the to-fire-or-not-to-fire Superintendent Nikolai Vitti mess.

See, last Saturday board member Scott Shine sent an email to the press that claimed board chairperson Ashley Smith Juarez intended to call a vote to fire Vitti at the meeting taking place right now. Subsequently, Smith Juarez sent her own open letter to media in which she admitted to ever-so-politely suggesting Vitti take his talents elsewhere.

Then, when civic leaders and the business community circled the wagons round their boy Vitti, Smith Juarez backed away slowly with her eyes lowered like a hiker who's just startled a very rich, very powerful group of bears.

So Folio Weekly thought we’d help them out by coming up with some new slogans guaranteed to distract and enthrall the electorate – though we’ll admit these probably won’t keep some members of the board from getting soiled in the shitstorm.

8 New Slogans for the Duval County School Board

1.  Puts the ‘dys’ in dysfunctional

2.  Solve complex national issues centuries in the making in 3 years OR ELSE

3.  You’re fired

4.  Proud graduates of the Scarlett O’Hara/Rhett Butler Charm School for Belles and Beaus – and you better be too

5.  If we wanted to know what you thought, we’d tell you

6.  Real Politicians in Training

7.  Cause Chartrand Says

8.  Just say 'no' to Sunshine   More