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Are Gainesville Hot Cops HOTTER Than Northeast Florida's Finest?

On September 10, the Gainesville Police Department night crew turned the temperature waaayyy up on Facebook by posting this: 


The internet went wild. Some of our favorite comments:

" if Florida wasn't already wet enough."

"I can't believe how many women are objectifying these poor, fine, young, strong, handsome, brave, sexy, delicious, virile, ovulation-inducing, mouth-watering, beefy..... I can't remember where I was going with this..."

"These guys really change the meaning of the song "F@ck the Police...""

"But who will protect these guys from an impending Cougar attack?"

A glorious time was had by all and GPD got deep into the fun. Whoever does their social media deserves a major award, cause this update had us at UP:


1. We are dying with the comments. You've actually made our chief blush with some of them.

2. MRS. Nordman and MRS. Hamill have also enjoyed knowing how millions of women are going crazy over their husbands.

3. We can confirm that Officer Rengering (far right with the amazing hair) IS SINGLE.

4. On another note, Officer Rengering is being placed into Cougar Prey Protective Care, similar to the witness protection program for his safety.

5. Please do not call 9-1-1 and request this group respond to your "incident"

6. There WILL be a calendar."

But now, a question: Whose officers are hotter? Jacksonville Sheriff's Office has laid down some pretty stiff competition in this category.

Exhibit A, B, and C you tonight:


JSO Sergeant Billy Irvin, whom you may recall from a few months back, is dripping wet in this photo because he just legit SAVED A WOMAN'S LIFE in the St. Johns River.

We vote JSO--nothing against those fine young officers from Gainesville, but Irvin has that 'fresh from an act of heroism' thang we just can't resist. And he's a homer.

BUT we'd love to see more evidence.   More


HILARIOUS Hurricane Irma Memes

Right now you're probably making plans to hunker down for serious as our state stares down the barrel at the monstrous Hurricane Irma that is poised to slam into our neighbors to the south. (We're all thinking of you, South Florida--but we know that, as Floridians, you are hard AF.)

To take your minds off the largest storm to ever come out of the Atlantic Ocean, here are some of the sharpest, funniest, most on point memes and such about Hurricane Irma we found floating around the internet.





Now THAT is a graphic we understand. FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!! Peyton Manning's forehead is coming!!



Bye, Felicia.



We vote: USA! USA! USA!



Hey, it can't hurt, right? Right?!





Take Berkman II, but for the love of god, don't lay a finger on the Laura Street Trio. We've got big plans for the trio, big, huge, plans...


Them Key people are nuts, y'all. You gotta batter and fry them suckers up before you make a burrito!



Srsly, dude. If those Silver Springs monkeys show up, we're so outta here.






Welp, as long as we're hunkering, may as well enjoy it. Not like we'll have power until October, anyway.

Next time, don't get high BEFORE you evacuate. Wait until you get to grandma's and ask the old biddy for a sample of the edibles she's been getting down at Trulieve!


For real, though, stay safe, be smart and watch out for each other.   More

Playwright JENNIFER CHASE helps us Celebrate the Amazing Human Spirit


Talking to Jennifer Chase is like trying to pin the wind. The writer, playwright, singer and teacher seems always to be in motion, moving through time and space in multiple dimensions—like something Dali might paint. Maybe it is because with her long blond dreadlocks, cat-eye glasses and sweeping multi-layer printed panel dresses she seems to expand and contract, reacting to ideas and situations with action, music and wit.


Chase’s newest project, Renunciant, has been over a decade in the making. A solo show that showcases Chase’s range of storytelling abilities, the piece encapsulates some of the personal stories of survival that her English for Speakers of Other Languages (ESOL) students, refugees would tell her.


“One assumes that these people had just left, say, south Sudan, but in the case of one student, he had been out of his country [and trying to get to America] for ten years,” said Chase. “He had to cross the desert, get to Lybia, then on to Tunisia and Germany before he was able to make it here legally.”


In 2003 when Chase began teaching, she said that her main goal was to create a safe place for her students. “How well will they learn English if they don’t trust the people they are studying with,” she asked rhetorically.


She also said that the trust-building she aimed for in the classroom helped many of her students deal with the loneliness that comes with living in a place where you know no one and life is hard, “…and they don’t feel like they are justified, like they have the right to complain,” she said of people who still have ties to a homeland, but because they “made it out” they feel as if grousing about their situation—even if they work long hours and take multiple busses to get through their days—feels like it devalues the sacrifices family and friends made to help them get …   More

The Prettiest Sunset That Ever Was and not a Nazi in Sight

Does a sunset look lovelier when it is setting behind the statue of the Confederate soldier in Hemming Park, sans the sounds of goose-stepping or lumbering as seems to be the case with American Nazis—feet?

The rumblings started over the weekend: Art Walk was canceled; Mal Jones of the Lyricist Hour was told he couldn’t perform; Art Walk was being overrun by Nazis; Art Walk was being held “indoors.”

As it turns out, a portion of the information was correct. The Lyricist Hour was relocated to the Museum of Science and History, and Art Walk—or whatever was left of it—was held indoors, and Nazis were expected in the city center. The event normally draws a crowd of about 8,000, but last night the streets were appreciably empty. People seemed to be roaming around certainly was a return to the days of a deserted downtown—except now there’s no place to sit in Hemming Park—but we digress.

Yesterday, Folio Weekly got a tip that in defiance of the possible Nazi occupation of Hemming Park to protest the proposed removal of the monument, a group of artists was quietly mobilizing. The plan: act as individuals, bring paper and pencil, and draw through the protest (or whatever the correct term is for a bunch of angry white folk trying to hold a historical line against racism and hate).

As of our arrival, there were about 11 artists quietly perched around the monument, and nary a white hood or Valknut in obvious site.

When we asked a police officer if there were more than the standard number of police units on hand, he said “no.”

According to the Daily Record, Jake Gordon, the CEO of the nonprofit organization, Downtown Vision Inc., which organizes the walk, said the move indoors was made because of safety concerns and business opportunities for the artists, only partially because of “political demonstrations.”

Which of course raises important questions like who …   More




The days are long gone when jazz music was the dominant cultural influence in America, and this city was a hub for legendary touring bands that came through regularly during the early 20th century. Jazz has been officially a niche market for the last 40 or 50 years, dating back to the birth of rock ’n' roll and the death of John Coltrane. But that niche market boasts high incomes, education and, above all else, loyalty to the product. The continual big crowds for our jazz festival for 35 years is a case in point.

In the summer of 2017, a renaissance of sorts in the city’s long-dormant jazz scene emerged, with a number of high-profile public events, bookended by Chick Corea’s headlining performance at the festival in May, the instant-classic set by Kumasi Washington that preceded it that weekend, and Marcus Printup’s gig at The Parlour in August, which occasioned a mini-reunion of UNF Jazz program alumni. So, with the numbers ticking steadily upward among the musicians and their fans, it makes perfect sense that the summer would also include the appearance of a couple new jazz venues in town—but three?

Yeah, four. Now, the concept of a functioning full-time jazz club might seem anachronistic these days, especially in Jacksonville, where such a thing is considerably more unusual than usual. But that has not always been the case, and in 2017, it seems to be the case no longer.


Breezy Jazz Club opened its doors Downtown the weekend of June 30. It’s at 119 W. Adams St., between Hogan and Laura, situated on a block historic for its centrality to the city’s live music scene, across the street from De Real Ting Café, which used to be the Milk Bar, and less than a block down from what once was the mythical Moto Lounge. (Right next door stands The Volstead, which nearly shuttered before a last-minute intervention by investors, ensuring its continued primacy within the scene.) Owner Thea …   More




1st Street Loft

A coffeehouse, art gallery and performance venue just across the street from the ocean is a mellow-vibed retreat that, by virtue of its warm and unhurried atmosphere, encourages (art) contemplation and conversation. Currently on view are the works of Moises Ramos, and 8-11 p.m. every Thursday night, there's open mic. 502 N. First St., Jax Beach, 241-7848.

Gallery One Forty Four

Photographer Lenny Foster is a transplant to St. Augustine from art colony area of Taos, New Mexico. He opened the doors to his gallery just in time for the fall season, and we're hearing the neighbors already have good things to say about the art and the artist. The show mounted in the space now, is a selection of the photographer’s new works. 144 King St., 466-8305.

Butterfield Art Garage

Though they aren’t new—they’ve been an unconventional jewel in the St. Augustine art scene for 18 years—when Hurricane Matthew swept through in all of his destructive glory, Butterfield's gallery space was totally flooded out. After almost a year of hard work, founding member Jan Miller said, “We came back because people wanted us.” The gallery opened its doors again this month and we at Folio Weekly wholeheartedly exclaim "Welcome back!"

Crispy’s Springfield Gallery

If you’ve been down on Main Street in Springfield recently, you've probably seen the gigantic mural by Shaun Thurston on the side of a building with a sign declaring it as Crispy’s. As it turns out, the mural is in support of owner John Crispen’s love of art. Ostensibly a pizzeria, Crispy’s is planning to be a place that supports local artists. “We need more places to show all of our amazing art [and] I’ve got a lot of good walls,” Crispen said. Currently on view are works by Springfield’s favorite son, Mac Truque. 1735 Main St., 661-1503.

Long Road Projects

Keep your eyes on this …   More

St. Augustine Amphitheatre Goes CARBON Neutral

There's no better feeling than the one you get when you see your favorite band perform live. The lights, the music and the camaraderie take you to another world. One of Northeast Florida's most popular venues, recently ranked No. 11 among amphitheatres in Pollstar's Mid-year Ticket Sales Top 50 Report, is the St. Augustine Amphitheatre.

Growing in popularity due to its sound experience and open setting, in the weeks and months ahead, the Amphitheatre will feature artists like Lynyrd Skynyrd, Modest Mouse and Jack Johnson, to name just a few. As renowned as these musicians are, the St. Augustine Amphitheatre is doing much more than just hosting some of the biggest names in music this season.

At the beginning of the 2016 concert season, the venue received its carbon footprint report and decided to adopt the conservation program Green Hands Initiative. It all started with a Jack Johnson concert. In May 2014, Johnson requested that the Amphitheatre meet strict requirements regarding the ecological impact of his show; inspired by complying with his request, the venue's administration resolved to reduce any negative impact the Amphitheatre had on the environment. As Megan Murphy of Green Hands explained, "The director of the [St. Augustine] Amphitheatre, Ryan Murphy, decided that if these changes were possible for one show, why shouldn't they be standard protocol for all shows?"

Through a partnership with Gainesville-based carbon offsetting program, We Are Neutral, the Amphitheatre has taken environmental responsibility to the next level. Carbon offsetting refers to replacing carbon that an individual, home or business emits into the atmosphere through carbon-reducing acts such as planting trees or performing energy-efficient upgrades. The Green Hands Initiative is an agreement made by the Amphitheatre's operation program, SJC Cultural Events Division, to maintain practices that align with the mission of conserving valuable resources and reducing unnecessary …   More


Strange Brew: One Schmuck Tries His Hand at Homebrewing

Beer. One of the most beautiful and delicious culinary inventions to ever fall from the heavens and into our gullets. It is the great equalizer of humankind. Conflicts have been resolved, relationships have been kindled and great, scholarly musings have been made over a few pints. It is enjoyed and celebrated by almost every walk of life the world over.

Everyone from President Obama to Uncle Bob at the Thanksgiving football game knows how to enjoy a good beer. Even so, something so good must come at a price. About 10 bucks for a six pack of some decent craft brew adds up pretty quick when you like beer as much as I do. So, I figured, what the hell? I can just make my own!

Brewing beer, which started as a way of making water safe for actual human consumption-instead of killing you-has now turned into an easily accessible hobby. With nothing more than a mailing address, 50 bucks and the patience of a saint, the craft of brewing beer is something even the average Joe can enjoy. It's actually more like 1.2 million average Joes and Janes, according to the American Homebrew Association.

Now, it seems that the general consensus amongst the beer making community is that the process of brewing is a balanced mix of art and science. With the art aspect, you have to know what does and does not taste like complete garbage when put into a beer. Scientifically, you have to know the chemistry behind not making beer taste like complete garbage. Homebrewing allows Joe to explore both aspects of the process. If Joe wants to get creative and add his own spin to a standard recipe for a blonde ale, why not?

Beer is comprised of four main ingredients: malt, water, yeast and hops. Malt provides the main source of sugar and is usually made from grains like barley, wheat, rye or oats-or sorghum for the gluten free peeps. Yeast is what eats the sugar from the malt and produces alcohol and Co2. Hops are the seasoning of beer. They add bitterness to offset the sweetness of the …   More


Lawsuit Challenges “Wealth-Based” Bail Procedures

Civil rights attorneys in Jacksonville filed a federal class action lawsuit Wednesday, Aug. 30 seeking new procedures for how bail is determined for misdemeanor arrestees. Currently, the lawsuit alleges, judges in the Fourth Judicial Circuit use a standard bond schedule for misdemeanor defendants and, when setting bail for pretrial release, don't inquire about individuals' ability to pay those predetermined amounts. The current system, plaintiffs contend, results in poor people having to remain in jail as they await trial because they can't pay to get out, while more affluent defendants are awarded pre-trial release almost immediately.

According to the lawsuit, using a pre-determined bond schedule without regard for an arrestee's ability to make bail violates due process and equal protection protections in both the United States and Florida Constitutions.

Civil rights attorney Bill Sheppard and his firm, Sheppard, White, Kachergus & DeMaggio, filed the lawsuit, which seeks declaratory and injunctive relief regarding bail for misdemeanor arrestees in Jacksonville.

"The Duval County Jail is seriously overcrowded," Sheppard said in a written statement to Folio Weekly, "in part because the Sheriff is holding misdemeanants solely because of their inability to pay their way out of jail. Long ago, Charles Dickens wrote about debtors' prisons-and that's all this is."

Plaintiffs are asking the U.S. District Court to declare both the predetermined bond schedule and the failure to inquire about arrestees' financial status unconstitutional. They also want the court to enjoin judges in the Fourth Judicial Circuit and agents of the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office from further use of the current "wealth-based detention" system, and to issue whatever orders the court deems necessary toward those ends.

The three named plaintiffs represent misdemeanor arrestees who are in jail now, the lawsuit says, only because they are indigent. The lawsuit names Sheriff Mike …   More


Nothing to Lose But Chains: Whose Streets? Opens at Sun-Ray Cinema

Whose Streets? is a documentary about the events that unfolded in Ferguson, Missouri after the police shot and killed Michael Brown. Brown was an unarmed teenager, but he was African American, and thus was nine times more likely to be killed by the police than other Americans, according to The Guardian.

Directed by Sabaah Folayan and produced by Damon Davis, Whose Streets? interviews community organizers and activists, and to a certain extent tells the Black Lives Matter story, but footage shot inside Ferguson illuminates the disparity between the media narrative and the actual experiences of the residents of the city. Whose Streets? is not a part of the lingering narratives of dangerous black folks-it is not a story shaped with coded language or slanted footage. It is, said activist Diallo Sekou in an email to Folio Weekly, "a moment in time that the black community is so familiar with, [the] militarization of the police [and] their entire approach because deep down they knew the officer was wrong."

In concert with the opening night screening at Sun-Ray Cinema, a panel discussion is being held to garner a local perspective. Guests include Sekou, former Flagler County Sheriff Jim Manfre, and associate professor of english and director of African-American/African Diaspora studies at the University of North Florida, Dr. Tru Leverette; with moderater Shelton Hull, a FW contributor.

FW asked participants via email to share their perspective about some of the issues the movie directly and tangentially touches on. When asked how he plans to navigate the discussion, Hull said, "I plan to use it as a springboard for a broader discussion of how this issue has evolved in the years since, and how it relates specifically to Northeast Florida." As to his opinions, Hull demurred, "My own views are not relevant to the discussion; my goal is to facilitate dialogue, and hopefully let the attendees express themselves and get the information they need to act on their …   More