1. True Colors
It doesn’t matter who the Jags are playing, they’re rocking that Detroit Lions’ jersey.
2. The Creature from the Bud Zone
Who cares where your seats are when you can watch the game on TV in the Bud Zone?
3. Gator Nationalist
The sun is orange and the sky is blue but any decent God would be sick of Gator fans, too.
4. Selfie Promotor
Mission in life: Getting their Instagram on the world’s largest jumbotron.
5. The Hologram
Season ticketholder you haven’t seen in three years (hint: check the Bud Zone).
6. Football Britannica
Eerily encyclopedic knowledge of every game the Jags have ever played. Personality of a reference book.
7. The Supernaturalist
Accurately calls Jags offensive plays before they happen. 12 years old.
Looks mostly normal, appropriately cheers and boos. Watches the crowd like a serial killer on a scouting trip.
So loud. Just so, so loud.
10. Slur Words (not to be confused with Sherwood’s Bar on San Marco which, incidentally, is where you can find them most nights)
Why not start tailgating at 6:30 in the morning? Because vurping then swallowing is gross.
11. Nappy Time
Every section has a sleeper. They could probably use a diaper change. And maybe a stomach pump.
12. The Networker
Corporate tickets, business casual, drinks buckets of Diet Pepsi. Does not know the score at any point in the game.
13. Seat Poacher
Snags empty seats like it’s a stadium-wide game of musical chairs. Looks offended when you tell them it’s your seat.
Hot, hot, hottie. Fake tan, stilettos, false eyelashes, animal print, sequins. Smells like a bouquet took a shit.
15. Over-the-Hill Hottie
Same as above but 20+ years older. Skin like a Fendi bag.
16. Happy Fan
Away-team … More