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They’re hideous! They’re terrifying! They’re masks … and you can wear them!
BEST-LAID PLANS Wednesday, October 29
Two men ran out the door of a closed-for-the-night Houston Family Dollar store on Oct. 7 — empty-handed, after a failed theft attempt. According to the surveillance video, one man had removed items from a bottom shelf while the store was still open, and crawled behind the shelf space just before his partner came by and restocked the shelf (thus hiding his buddy). The partner then made a purchase and left.
AT LEAST HE DIDN'T GET A TRIBAL Wednesday, October 29
Victor Thompson, 46, arrested in St. Petersburg, Florida, in October for possession of the synthetic marijuana called Master Kush Spice (which he insisted is legal in his native New Hampshire), is apparently an out-of-control New England Patriots fan — having tattooed his entire bald head with a painstaking replica of quarterback Tom Brady’s helmet.
RISKY BUSINESS Wednesday, October 29
The former chairman of the Federal Reserve, Ben Bernanke, revealed at an October conference in Chicago that even though his post-government income will be several times what he earned as Fed chairman, he was nonetheless rejected recently when he tried to refinance his Washington, D.C., home.
FOOTBALL BACCHANAL Wednesday, October 29
Well, once again it’s Florida-Georgia Weekend, aka The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, and even though tickets for this annual pigskin-driven battle were sold out before you were …
NAILED IT Wednesday, October 29
After days of looking weary and walking lopsidedly, “Ducka,” the pet muscovy, finally gave owner Vicki Hicks of Sydney, Australia, a clue to its behavior by coughing up a nail. Veterinarian Hamish Baron of the Avian Reptile and Exotic Animal Hospital ordered an X-ray, which revealed a small toolbox’s worth of nails, screws and washers in Ducka’s belly.
SPOUSAL SUPPORT Wednesday, October 29
Pauline Chai and her estranged husband, Khoo Kay Peng (a Laura Ashley executive), are battling in a London courtroom in a very expensive divorce, with the current issue to determine whether the English judge has jurisdiction instead of courts in the couple’s native Malaysia.
PARTY WITH THE DEAD Wednesday, October 29
The Day of the Dead, or El Día de Muertos, is a colorful Mexican holiday honoring ancestors that traces its roots back to the pre-Columbian era. The Museum of Contemporary Art Jacksonville is …
ROUTINE CLAIMS Wednesday, October 29
When a van on official business for the city of St. Paul, Minnesota, accidentally hit Megan Campbell’s Nissan Pathfinder in August, Campbell, naturally, filed a claim against the city for the $1,900 damage — normally just a cost of business for a city and one of about 400 claims St. Paul has processed this year.
BLOOD FOR BUTTERCUP Wednesday, October 29
In September, Dr. Sean Perry of the Marathon (Florida) Veterinary Hospital saved the life of Buttercup, an orange tabby who needed blood — by giving him a transfusion from a West Palm Beach dog blood bank. According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine, 62 cats have been known to receive such “xenotransfusions,” and cats are apparently the only animals (besides dogs) that can safely process dog blood.
 
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