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SCORPIO: October 1-7 Wednesday, October 1
Dear So-Called Astrologer: Your horoscopes are worse than useless. Mostly they’re crammed with philosophical and poetic crap that doesn’t apply to my daily life. Please cut way back on the fancy metaphors. Just let me know if there’s money or love or trouble coming – like what regular horoscopes say! — Skeptical Scorpio.
LIBRA: October 1-7 Wednesday, October 1
When Jimmy Fallon was a high school senior, he got a weird graduation gift: a troll doll, one of those plastic figurines with frizzy, brightly colored hair. Around the same time, his mother urged him to enter an upcoming comedy contest at a nearby club. Jimmy thought it would be fun. He worked up a routine imitating various celebrities auditioning to become a spokesperson for troll dolls.
VIRGO: October 1-7 Wednesday, October 1
Oliver Evans (1755-1819) was a prolific Virgo inventor who had brilliant ideas for steam engines, urban gas lighting, refrigeration and automated machines. He made a radical prediction: “The time will come when people will travel in stages moved by steam engines, almost as fast as birds fly, 15 or 20 miles an hour.” We may be surprised that a visionary innovator like Evans dramatically minimized any future possibilities. In the same way, later in your life, you may laugh at how much you’re underestimating future potentials now. Stop underestimating.
LEO: October 1-7 Wednesday, October 1
In June 2012, a U.S. Senator introduced a bill that would require all members of Congress to actually read or listen to a reading of any bill before voting on it. The proposal has been in limbo ever since, and it’s unlikely it’ll ever be treated seriously. I’m confused – shouldn’t it be a fundamental requirement for all lawmakers know what’s in the laws they pass? Don’t make a similar error. Understand exactly what you’re getting into, whether it’s a new agreement, interesting invitation or tempting opportunity. Be thoroughly informed.
CANCER: October 1-7 Wednesday, October 1
In the wild, very few oysters produce pearls – about one in every 10,000. Most commercial pearls are from farmed oysters, induced by human intervention. As you might expect, the natural jewel is far more precious. Use these facts as metaphors as we speculate about your fate in the next eight months.
GEMINI: October 1-7 Wednesday, October 1
The journey that awaits is succinct but epic. It’ll last a relatively short time but take months to fully understand. You may feel natural and ordinary as you go through it, even as you’re being heroic. Prepare as best as you can, but keep in mind no amount of preparation will get you completely ready for the spontaneous moves you’ll have to perform.
TAURUS: October 1-7 Wednesday, October 1
In three years, you’ll comprehend truths about your life that you can’t grasp now. By then, confusing past events will make sense. You’ll know their purpose and why they occurred. Can you wait that long? If you’d rather not, do a meditation.
ARIES: October 1-7 Wednesday, October 1
As I hike through the wilderness at dusk, crickets always seem to be humming in the distance. No matter where I go, their sound is farther off, never up close. How can that be? Do they move away as I approach? No leaping insects in the underbrush.
Sara Pedigo has a keen eye for details. In the past decade-plus, the St. Augustine painter and educator has been mindfully studying her surroundings and providing a kind of field report through large …
COMEDY Wednesday, October 1
Funnyman Nick Swardson may be best known as the roller-skates-wearing gigolo Terry Bernadino on the TV cop comedy hit Reno 911!, and as the star of his own sketch show, Nick Swardson’s Pretend …
 
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