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SIZE MATTERS (SOMETIMES) Wednesday, October 8
A court in Leer, Germany, ordered a medical examination of the manhood of Herbert O., 54, to help decide a criminal charge of exhibitionism. The man’s wife testified Herbert’s organ is “too short to hang out of [his] trousers,” as claimed by the victim of the flashing. The judge asked a local health official to make an exact measurement.
ARIES: November 5-11 Wednesday, November 5
Shape-shifting is a common fairy tale theme, says cultural historian Marina Warner in her book From the Beast to the Blonde. “A rusty lamp turns into an all-powerful talisman,” for example. “A humble pestle and mortar become the winged vehicle of the fairy enchantress,” or a slovenly beggar in a dirty donkeyskin transforms into a radiant princess. I foresee metaphorically similar events in your life soon. Maybe they’re already underway. Don’t underestimate the magic that is possible.
CLUES AT THE SCENE Wednesday, October 8
Alfred J. Shropshire III was charged in June with burglarizing a home in Lakewood, Washington, identified by his having accidentally dropped at the scene a plaque from a local Mazda dealer naming Alfred J. Shropshire III Salesperson of the Month.
TAURUS: November 5-11 Wednesday, November 5
The scientific term for what happens when you get a headache from eating too much ice cream too fast is sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia. Be on guard against such an occurrence in the coming week. Watch out for other phenomena that fit the description of being too-much-and-too-fast-of-a-good-thing. On the other hand, you shouldn’t worry at all about slowly getting just the right amount of a good thing. Enjoy your pleasures with grace and moderation; you’ll be fine.
GEMINI: November 5-11 Wednesday, November 5
“Pregreening” is a term for what impatient drivers do as they are waiting at a red light. They partly take their foot off the brake, allowing their car to creep forward, to establish some momentum before the light changes to green. I advise you to avoid this type of behavior in the coming week – both literally and metaphorically. Pregreening might make sense by, say, Nov. 15 or 16. But for now, relax and abide.
UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT Wednesday, September 17
A 20-year-old woman was arrested in Seattle in August after calling police to complain she was being harassed by a man who was following her. Police arrived to find that the "stalker" was simply trying to get his phone back after the woman stole it …
RECENT AMERICAN SCENES Wednesday, September 17
A Washington State Patrol lieutenant pulled over a 28-year-old drunk driver on Aug. 9 in a logistically impressive arrest. The lieutenant, when he spotted the driver, happened to be in the 36-foot-long motor home converted to the department's mobile …
CHARMING Wednesday, September 17
Sarah Espinosa, 22, crashed into a fire station in New Hyde Park, New York, on Aug. 4, notable for the involvement of two factors — alcohol and the python draped around her neck. She was charged with having just stolen the snake from a Petco …
CANCER: November 5-11 Wednesday, November 5
Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827) was one of the greats. He was a prodigious composer, producing more than 350 works. One of the secrets to his high level of energy seems to have been his relationship with coffee. It was an indispensable part of his diet. He was fastidious in its preparation, counting out exactly 60 coffee beans for each cup.
NOTW CLASSIC, August 2010 Wednesday, September 17
They Don't Make "Drug Lords" Like They Used To: Widely feared Jamaican drug kingpin Christopher "Dudus" Coke was arrested in June 2010 and extradited to New York City after being picked up wearing women's clothes and a too-small 1970s-style Afro …
 
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