Or, has the city really turned the corner on generations of broken promises to its poor neighborhoods, or is Alvin Brown just looking for votes?
OOPSIE Wednesday, September 24
Nick Olivas, 24, is a rare American. At age 14 (an age that, in Arizona, makes him legally incapable of consenting to sex), he fathered a daughter with a 20-year-old woman — paternity he learned of only two years ago. The mother filed against Olivas for child support that now totals $15,000. Olivas is rare in that most states exempt rape victims from child-support orders — except that, since Olivas never made a police report of the incident, Arizona Child Support Services will not exempt him, and instead has obtained an order garnisheeing his wages at $380 a month.
GIRL’S GOTTA EAT Wednesday, October 22
An 18-year-old woman was admitted to Bishkek Hospital in Bishkek, Kyrgyz Republic, in September with severe stomach pains, which doctors discovered was due to her long-standing habit of chewing both discarded hair and her own. Doctors removed a hairball that weighed 8.8 pounds.
ALL THAT AND CASH, TOO Wednesday, September 24
According to legal scholars consulted by the Associated Press, it’s conceivable that Nicole Diggs, of Yonkers, N.Y., even if convicted of negligent homicide in the upcoming trial in the death of her severely disabled 8-year-old daughter, could nevertheless inherit the remains of the child’s $2 million trust fund originally established for her care.
BARGAINS Wednesday, October 22
Walter Morrison, 20, a United Parcel Service baggage agent at Phoenix’s Sky Harbor airport, apparently intended only to swipe random parcels, but inadvertently came upon, in one package, a diamond (worth about $160,000). Police charging him in September said he traded the diamond to a friend for a gram of marijuana (around $20, retail).
LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS Wednesday, September 24
Clearwater police pulled over a “suspicious” car on July 24 and ultimately arrested the driver and his passenger. The back seat was loaded with potted plants — in fact, potted pot plants, so crowded that the leaves and branches of some plants were sticking out of the car’s windows.
PERSPECTIVE Wednesday, October 22
Prosecutors in Killeen, Texas, are seeking the death penalty for Marvin Guy, who in May shot one SWAT officer to death and wounded three as they conducted an unannounced (“no-knock”) drug raid on his home at 5:30 a.m. — leading Guy to believe hoodlums were breaking in and thus provoking him to grab his gun and start firing.
SECONDS! Wednesday, September 24
Daniel Warn, 28, was arrested in July in Costa Mesa, California, and charged with the burglary of an El Pollo Loco restaurant — a caper captured on surveillance video. Police were notified later that day when Warn — wearing the same distinctive hat and bright green shirt worn by the burglar — came to the restaurant to order a meal.
HARMONIC CONVERGENCE OF PERVERSION Wednesday, October 22
Palm Beach County, Florida, sheriff’s deputies searching the home of child-pornography suspect Douglas Wescott, 55, stumbled upon about 50 dead cats stored in four freezers. Wescott’s computers were seized, along with another 30 to 35 live cats.
OF COURSE! Wednesday, September 24
Jonathan Thomas, 50, was charged with DUI and disorderly conduct in Washington Township, Indiana, in August after driving through two backyards one Friday evening and getting his vehicle stuck in the second. Police reported that Thomas “show[ed] his teeth to officers” and later “growled” at hospital security staff. Thomas’ day job is director of the Porter County Animal Shelter.
JUST LIKE THE SCRIPT Wednesday, September 24
In August, a Bradenton, Florida, deputy sheriff was forced to duplicate a classic scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark when he was advanced upon by a menacing-looking, samurai-sword-swinging, 31-year-old man. The deputy, perhaps as nonplussed as Indiana Jones was, shot him dead.
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