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CAPRICORN: March 26-April 1 Tuesday, March 25
Lifehacker.com has a step-by-step guide to set up your home as a command center to pursue your world domination plans. The article tells how to build a surveillance system, encrypt computer files and …
SAGITTARIUS: March 26-April 1 Tuesday, March 25
To be in strict compliance with cosmic necessity, attend a party every day next week. Dance ecstatically, make love abundantly and expose yourself to previously unknown pleasures. Feast on a variety …
SCORPIO: March 26-April 1 Tuesday, March 25
When a human embryo begins to develop in the womb, the first body part to appear is — can you guess? — the anus. This scientific fact led witty commentators at QI.com to state “Every human …
LIBRA: March 26-April 1 Tuesday, March 25
The band Rush was inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame last May. Guitarist Alex Lifeson gave an unusual acceptance speech. For two minutes, he repeated one word over and over: “blah.” …
VIRGO: March 26-April 1 Tuesday, March 25
It’s said Jesus turned water into wine. Well, St. Brigit, a sixth-century Irish nun, was legendary for an even greater miracle. When folks visited her monastery in Kildare, she changed her old …
LEO: March 26-April 1 Tuesday, March 25
Your patron saint for the next three months is surrealistic artist Salvador Dali. He’s your muse and role model. Spout some of his famous declarations as if they were your own. Start with these: 1. …
CANCER: March 26-April 1 Tuesday, March 25
Now’s a great time to launch a new tradition, instigate a fresh trend or make a beautiful thing to last 1,000 years — an amazing marvel, useful innovation or creation to improve the lives of …
GEMINI: March 26-April 1 Tuesday, March 25
Tata Massage is a San Francisco salon that offers an unusual beauty treatment: face-slapping. Thai masseuse Tata claims to be improving your complexion as she smacks your cheeks and forehead with her …
TAURUS: March 26-April 1 Tuesday, March 25
In Somalia, there’s a law that forbids one from putting used chewing gum on one’s nose and walking around in public. Fortunately, you don’t live there, so it’s fine if you want to do that. Go …
ARIES: March 26-April 1 Tuesday, March 25
  I’ve coined a new word just for your horoscope this week. “Zex,” short for “zen sex,” is a kind of sex in which your mind is at rest, empty of all thought. You …
 
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