It could be said that Valentine’s Day is the most depressing day of the year for the unattached. Watching co-workers get showered with flowers, listening to friends drone on about their romantic dinners at Wine Cellar or Matthew’s and being subjected to a constant stream of Lionel Richie, Chicago and Air Supply on the radio … it’s enough to make anyone feel unwanted, unattractive and even unloveable.
The truth is havinlag a valentine isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be. In fact, those of us without significant others have plenty of reasons to rejoice in our singledom:
1. Saving approximately $139: the average price of the check for a Valentine's Day dinner, according to OpenTable.
2. No nicks, cuts or razor bumps: since there's no need to shave. But if you are feeling amorous...
3. Better chance of having sex: ironic, huh? A survey conducted by Men's Health and Women's Health revealed less than 50 percent of men in relationships expect to have sex on Valentine's Day.
4. More candy: not having to share your Peterbrooke chocolate-covered popcorn. That alone is enough reason for me to celebrate being single. I'd eat that stuff out of a urinal. TMI? (In the alternative, you don't need to consume calories just because someone gave you candy in a heart-shaped box.)
5. Avoiding greeting card anxiety: Valentine's card section = virtual landmine for relationships. Singletons need not worry about choosing between a card that's funny or romantic or — gasp — blank inside. Or trying to figure out if you should even get someone a card, like, say, a friend with benefits?
6. Better service at non-romantic restaurants: assuming you consider Wacko's or Gold Club restaurants. Guys can also expect extra-attentive service at Hooters.
7. Absence of gift-related stress: whether you are the giver or receiver. In addition spending an average of $130.97 for cards, candy and gifts, according to a BIGinsight survey, there's the pressure of picking out just the right gift. And for the recipient, there's the pressure of acting like you actually like the gift (women have an advantage in the latter since they have more experience with faking).
8. No death by flowers: more specifically, the world's most dangerous spider. Ninety percent of flowers are grown in Ecuador or Colombia, which also happen to be breeding grounds for banana spiders. Just saying.
If anyone needs me tomorrow, I'll be having beers with my gay boyfriend.