NEWS OF THE WEIRD

People With Issues

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Christopher Pagano, 41, was finally arrested in January as police identified him as the man who had apparently been roaming the Mayfair neighborhood of Philadelphia for several weeks exposing his genitals while lovingly fondling a hunk of Swiss cheese ("cheese-accessorized" genitals, wrote a Philadelphia Daily News reporter). The case was broken when a 2012 victim recalled a "Swiss cheese pervert" in the Philadelphia area and searched for him on the Internet, locating a man who rhapsodized as much about cheese as about having sex. "I started to compare girls to cheese due to their milky [complexions]," the man (Pagano) wrote. "[G]irls are soft, smooth-feeling, and tend to like dairy products more."

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