Paint the Town Green

Your St. Patrick's Day (Weekend) Field Guide. Get a cab


Yeah, so … St. Patrick's Day is on a Monday this year, which means most places start celebrating, like, Friday night. Tents go up, green dye goes in the beers on tap and local musicians start adding an O' to their band names. And since we're all about changing it up and staying hip here at Folio Weekly, we've gathered all the info you need to have the Best! St.! Patty's! Day! Ever!

OK, calm down. We'll tell you what bars are authentically Irish and what joints are posers, where the best music will be and where the parking lots are safe. So dig out those green sweatpants you wore in junior college and get ready to par-tay with Floridian craic agus ceol!

A good place to start is at The Beaches. On one side of the island are Atlantic Beach's two Irish spots. Culhane's Irish Pub is owned by four Irish sisters — so, legit. It's a bit of an older crowd, but the pace is fast, the crowd is big and drinks are green. If you want some rowdy, beer-guzzlin', green-haired punks, head over to The Fly's Tie. It's the go-to joint of The Beaches' St. Patrick's Day madness. They have port-o-lets in the parking lot, and Lord help the people drunk enough to make out in one after it's been in the sun all day.

In Jax Beach, there's but one must-go: Lynch's Irish Pub. It's kinda "world-famous" and definitely a place to see and be seen. The girls (the girls!) dress to the nines in dresses of every shade of green, made from the least possible amount of fabric. If you're crazy enough to make a run at the main bar, go pee first. The place is packed with every frat boy and tribal tattoo in Northeast Florida.

If you're sober enough to cross the ditch — and if you're not, for chrissake, get a cab — there's only one place to go: Riverside's Historic 5 Points' huge block party. The lead bar of this indoor/outdoor party is O'Brother's Irish Pub. The best part? All the bars in Riverside are so close you can walk everywhere you go — no DUIs for the smart hipsters this year!

Here are some other events that may tickle your fancy, drunk or not, in alphabetical order:

ANN O’MALLEY’S, 23 Orange St., St. Augustine, 825-4040,
Along with corned beef and cabbage served all day until it’s gone, there’s live music: Ric Welch at 4 p.m. and Strumstick 8:30 p.m. March 17. Leading up to the excitement are Dublin Train Wreck March 12, The Wobbly Toms on March 15 and Jig to a Mile on March 16.

BARLEY REPUBLIC PUBLIC HOUSE, 48 Spanish St., St. Augustine, 547-2023,
The self-described Irish gastropub holds its third annual celebration with traditional food, drink, music, and lads and lassies in kilts. Kilts!

CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595,
Whatever Culhane’s does, you can bet it’ll be jam-packed. Local band Road Less Traveled starts at 11 a.m., so that's a good indication that this authentic Irish pub will be jumping. Look for favorites like shepherd’s pie and corned beef, as well as gastropub menu items. As a prelude to all the action, check out these bands: Dublin City Ramblers on March 13, Cloud 9 on March 14, The Walker Family Band on March 15 and JK Wayne and Road Less Traveled on March 16.

DERBY ON PARK, 1068 Park St., 5 Points, 379-3343,
Derby features a special Irish menu and live music. Check their website for updates.

DONOVAN’S IRISH PUB, 7440 U.S. 1 N., Ste. 108, Palencia, 829-0000,
The annual party, held 5-10 p.m., features green beer and plenty of corned beef and cabbage and all the trimmings. Bagpipes and a DJ provide the entertainment.

FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247,
Along with the usual food and drink specials, there’s live music all damn day, featuring Jig to a Milestone from 9 a.m.-noon, Spade McQuade & the All Stars from 12:30-4 p.m., Irish step dancers from 4-5 p.m., Jimmy O’Solari from 5-7 p.m., U-Zoo (a U2 tribute band) from 7:30-9:30 p.m. and Something Distant from 10 p.m.-1:30 a.m. To help you get in a celebratory mood: Braxton Adamson 5-8 p.m., Seven Nations 9 p.m. on March 14; Take Cover 8:30 p.m. on March 15 and Rathkeltair 7-11 p.m. on March 16.

FLY'S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 E. Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach, 246-4293
The traditional corned beef and cabbage, etc., with an item called black pudding. We don't know exactly what that is, but Fly's Tie is freakin’ legit Irish, so .... Live music is also featured.

GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 824-8244,
Canan Law presents its annual St. Patrick’s Day fundraiser from 5-7:30 p.m. on March 13 at The Corner Bar, Gypsy Cab Company. Live Irish music, food and drink are featured. It’s suggested your donation should be equal to one hour of legal fees. 824-9402.

JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 22, Intracoastal, 220-6766,
The party runs 11 a.m.-11 p.m., with live music by Dune Dogs at 4 p.m., as well as Irish stew, soda bread, and corned beef and cabbage.

LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., Jax Beach, 249-5181,
The pub starts its annual bacchanal with Kickin Lassie playing March 15 and 16, and the high-octane action continues with green beer, giveaways and Irish fare on March 17. Live music that day features The Be Easy Band, Fran Doyle, The Clay County Pipes & Drums and Rathkeltair. To register, go to the website.

MONKEY’S UNCLE TAVERN, 1850 Third St. S., Jax Beach, 241-4178,
Local band Little Green Men performs on March 16.

MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008
The Walker Family Band performs at 7:30 p.m. March 17.

NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 247-3300,
Drink specials and live music by Zach Deputy are featured at the second annual party.

NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 372-4105,
The party is held 5 p.m. March 15, with Guinness cheese soup, shepherd's pie, corned beef and blah blah … but it’s the drink specials that’ll get you in the door. Irish whiskey, coffee, punch and something called the Lucky Leprechaun — Midori, Malibu rum and pineapple juice. Yikes. Musician Mickey Mouth plays at 7:30 p.m.

THE OASIS DECK & RESTAURANT, 4000 A1A & Ocean Trace Road, St. Augustine Beach, 471-3424,
Bagpipes and Chris C4Mann play at 3 p.m. and Henry & the Seahawks at 4 p.m., and then the fun really starts — at 4:02 p.m.: corned beef and cabbage and, apparently, a real leprechaun. WTF? (Admit it — you want to see the little guy.) The Ron Perry Connection wraps it up from 7-11:30 p.m.

O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB, 1521 Margaret St., Five Points, 854-9300,
MOSSFIRE GRILL & LOUNGE, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434,

The party at both venues starts at 11 a.m.; the live music takes off when the street party does, at 5 p.m., featuring Grandpa’s Cough Medicine, The Firewater Tent Revival and The Impediments. There's green beer, hot dogs, food trucks, Al's Pizza, Hawkers and Rain Dogs. Plus bathrooms (important!), an ATM and more.

PUSSER’S BAR & GRILLE, 816 A1A N., Ponte Vedra, 280-7766,
Celebrate the Irish way with beer specials (Guinness pints for three bucks), Irish rum punch and a Irish-themed menu: corned beef and cabbage, fish and chips, and shepherd's pie. Live music on the upper deck.

STEAMIN, 9703 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 493-2020,
The celebration features a special corned beef Steam Theme, with green beers and punch specials.

THRASHER-HORNE CENTER FOR THE ARTS, 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6815,
<> starring famous Irish tenor Michael Londra, is presented on March 14, along with real Irish dancers performing jigs and reels — featuring leaps and kicks that have to be seen to be believed — to music coaxed from fiddles, great drums, bodhrans and uileann pipes. Tickets start at $16 for the show, staged at 7:30 p.m.

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