FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

GEMINI: March 26-April 1

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Tata Massage is a San Francisco salon that offers an unusual beauty treatment: face-slapping. Thai masseuse Tata claims to be improving your complexion as she smacks your cheeks and forehead with her hands. She also does “massage boxing,” administering health-giving punches to your body with her fists. Is there a comparable service available where you live? I recommend it. APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth: Be absolutely firm that you won’t tolerate whacks and wallops — including the psychological kind — even if they’re supposedly good for you.

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