The Best of Jax 2013

... According to Me


No sooner than the winners of Folio Weekly's Best of Jax 2013 are declared, then the grousing starts.

"Their food sucks." "That place is lame." "She's an idiot." No doubt, readers all over Northeast Florida are bitching that their favorite restaurant/bar/wacko didn't win (and what do you want to bet 75 percent of those doing the complaining didn't even vote?). 

I, for one, don't agree with all of the winners (if you can call being named "Best Wacko" winning), which is why I've created my own Best of Jax awards. Realizing that we are entitled to our opinions, I'm not disagreeing with voters, per se. Instead, I have taken the existing categories and put my own twist on them, allowing me to recognize my own favorites—without insulting other readers.

Local Hero ... Who Not Only Isn't a Billionaire but Doesn't Even Get Paid for His Valiant Efforts to Make Jacksonville a Better Place
Mike Field, co-founder of Jax Truckies (winner of Best Local Trend and Best Facebook page in the Best of Jax 2013 poll) and Jax Cash Mob

Local Zero ... Excitement 
Jacksonville Jaguars

Local Wacko(s) ... on Twitter
NAME(S) REDACTED (um, hello ... they're wackos ... do you think I'm actually going to name them?)

Best TV Morning Show ...That Aired the Night Before But I Record It and Don’t Watch Until the Next Morning So It’s Technically a “TV Morning Show” to Me
“Project Runway”

Best B&B in Jacksonville ... and by “B&B” I Mean “Bread and Butter”

Best Bartender ... Who Shares My Last Name
Billy Speckman at European Street Cafe, Riverside

Best DJ ... Who Actually Plays My Song Requests 
DJ Chill Will 

Best Bookstore ... for People Too Lazy to Drive to a Bookstore and/or Who Like to Shop at 4 a.m.

Best Facebook Page ... for Posts About Real Life That Will Make You LOLOLOLOL
Tie: Amy Lee and Liz Morgan

Best Twitter Account ... Use of Hashtags

Hottest Celebrity ... Who Isn’t Even a Real Person
Bruce Turner

Best Karaoke Place ... That Uses One-Gallon String Bean Cans as Ashtrays 
Bud Gardner Beer Garden at the Ramona Flea Market

Best Concert ... by Rick Springfield
Rick Springfield at the Florida Theatre

Best Local Musician ... Who Doesn't Get the Attention He Deserves in His Own Hometown but Who Will Win a Grammy One Day—and That's the "Tabloid Truth" (a Reference That You Would Get If You Respected His Genius and Bought the CD)
J. Dash 

Best Pizza ... at a Place That Isn’t a Restaurant
Best Movie Theater ... That Doesn’t Show Movies Starring Channing Tatum (No Offense, Channing)
Sun-Ray Cinema

Best Restaurant ... That’s Within Walking Distance From My House
Black Sheep

Best Thai Restaurant ... Because It's My List and I Said So
Taste of Thai

Best Chinese Restaurant ... Appetizer That I Eat Until I Make Myself Sick
Dragon Whiskers from Blue Bamboo

Best Hot Dog ... Deserving of Its Own T-shirt Designed by R. Land
The Monster German Wiener at European Street Cafe

Best Brew Pub ... Beer Name
Liver Kick from Intuition Ale Works

Best Jewelry Store ... That’s Not Technically a Jewelry Store  
Nicole Cruz Engagements

Best Lawyer ... Tan
Best Scandal ... That Happened After Voting for Folio Weekly's Best of Jax 2013 Ended

Public Defender Matt Shirk and #whiskygate

Best College ... That Has Educated an Emmy-winning Actor, NBA Hall of Fame Inductee, Two Jacksonville Mayors and Me
Jacksonville University

Best Place to Buy a Car ... From a Salesperson Named After a Peanuts Character
March Motors, Peppermint Patty

Agree? Disagree? Leave your comments below.

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