FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

AQUARIUS: March 26-April 1

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Planetary omens suggest you need to experience all possible flavors of Doritos corn chips. The problem? The place where you live offers a limited range. Drop everything and travel to Japan, the world leader in Dorito variety. You can sample coconut curry-flavored Doritos, along with flavors of fried chicken, corn soup, smoked bacon, tuna and mayonnaise, and many others. Buy the plane ticket now! APRIL FOOL! I lied. Truth is, you’ll benefit from communing with a wide variety of sensations, experiences and ideas in many areas of your life, not just Doritos.

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